By Joginder Singh
Dale Carnegie suggests, the following six ways to make people like you:
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
2. Smile.
3. Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of other person's interests.
6. Make the other person feel important-- and do it sincerely.
A number of persons have gone further in life, than they thought was possible, because someone encouraged and told them, that they could. The greatest good, that we can do to others is reveal their potential to them and encourage them.
The best way, to help others, is by encouraging them to perform their best and showing them their potential. There is a tremendous amount, of talent and ability, in every human being.
Try to develop a personal brand, which should signify as to what you stand for. Your personal brand, should have your core values at the heart. It could be anything like honesty, positively, creativity, hard work, and doing the right thing. You will be known, by your brand and the values you cherish and abide by. Your brand communicates your principles, ethics, morals and your personality more effectively than anything else. Our mind, continuously throws up more than 40000 thoughts a day. It is the substance and contents of these thoughts, whether they are negative or positive, which affect our mental vision, general progression and style. One way is, to continuously do the spring cleaning and stop negativity and negative thoughts in their mid track and erase bad habits from our life. A simple way, to do the same is by positive pronouncement, avowals and declarations to yourself.
It has been estimated, that we each, have upwards of 40,000 thoughts per day. Our effort should be to purge negative, self-destructive thoughts, which we ingrain in our minds unconsciously, and which in the course of time, lead to the formation of our attitudes and habits. Keep on visualising the best of every situation and every person. Mentally picture yourself, as to what you want to be.
An old saying and what we all feel, is that we will believe something, only if see it. Reverse it, by seeing it mentally and your mind will believe it. Always expect the best and see positive in everything.
Write down your affirmations and put them in some handy place, so that you can repeat it to yourself. I carry written affirmation with me, for morning walk and try to repeat and memorise them, so that they become an integral part of my thinking. I have also tape recorded, some affirmations. I listen to them when I am in bath room, because normally each day, we spend at least 30 to 40 minutes in the bath room. You can devise your own methods of visualisations and affirmations, for getting the results you desire. It could be anything, from doing well in life, to enhancing, your charisma and persuasion power.
Criticising, with some people becomes an effortless and unconscious habit. One of my close relations, from the time getting up in the morning is in a censor and a detractor mode. The morning tea is, either too early or too late, or too hot or too cold. Clothes are not properly ironed and the telephone is always disturbing. Or it does not ring or it rings at most inconvenient hours. Not only such people, but all of us require, training and re-training our minds to discover the positive qualities, aspects and characteristic in ourselves and our friends.
You can never hit a shot, without focussing on your target.The future holds infinite possibilities, which are waiting to happen. What it needs, is somebody, who can make the same a reality. Criticism is, a sterile and fruitless approach. Nobody, however wrong, he or she may be, likes to be criticised. Immediately stop, when you find your self, criticising and complaining. Instead get going and commence a stream of positive self talk.
This is the only way, you make a difference, and turn a bad situation into a better one. Concentrate on what can be done. Says Tom Blandi: "Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is, of paramount importance, that we know, how to harness and control this great force."
We can achieve much and do much good, if we have the appropriate incentive, inspiration, drive and enthusiasm. Motivation and inducement itself, is not enough, unless it is accompanied, by vision, planning, action, and discipline. For doing that we need to develop, create and foster within ourselves, the right skills required for our selected areas.
Skill-building, does not come in one day. For instance, if you want to be a writer, you have to read a lot and learn to write logically, evocatively, eloquently and impressively. Even if you are a good writer, you will need, to enhance and perfect your existing abilities. Learning is a life long process and it should not end with a certain age, if we are to make a mark in our lives.
I had a Private Secretary, who could not take dictation or use computer. When I asked him, as why he did not learn this latest skill. He replied that he had only 6 months of service left and he was too old, to learn anything new. I told him, that I myself had only 12 months service left and I was willing to learn the computer and was learning. But it had no effect him, as he felt that the retirement from the government service was the end of road and life for him. I urged him again, that it is never too late, to learn new skills and acquire new information, as it will make him employable even after retirement.
When we are no longer able to change a situation, it is time to change ourselves.
Mother Teresa used to say, "None of us can do great things, we can only do a small thing with great love every day". This equally applies to our learning and improving ourselves.
(The Author is former Director of CBI, India)
No comments:
Post a Comment